Indian bummer

Indian ZackNative American surfer dude Chief Henry meets his untimely end so that Zack can learn a Very Important Lesson. Given that he seemed perfectly healthy, our guess is that the Chief was simply annoyed to death by Jessie and her White Guilt. Read the rest of this entry »

Hate the playa and the game

Kelly volleyballIt’s sex, lies and volleyball as the Malibu Sands Beach Club prepares for the big match against North Beach. Oh, except there’s no sex. And not much lying, either, unless you count the big one Zack pulls over on Carosi to get him to back their ragtag team. But there is lots of volleyball. Um, yay? Read the rest of this entry »


Kristy giving a noogieFemale wrestler Kristy Barnes rolls into Bayside to teach everyone a Very Important Lesson about gender roles. So Important is this Lesson, as it turns out, that there is no time for Jessie to learn that “pigism” isn’t actually a word, nor for the rest of us to learn why Coach Sonski has a mysterious accent straight outta Newark. But at least we all now know how to escape a choke hold by administering a noogie. Read the rest of this entry »

Life, liberty and the pursuit of really hideous clothing

Miss Liberty PageantThe Fourth of July finds the girls of Malibu Sands exercising their God-given right to dress like they’re on their way to a drag show (or Disneyland or a third-grade school pageant, in the case of Kelly and Jessie). In the delayed-reaction category, Carosi finally fires Zack (only to hire him back later the same day under threat of a lawsuit), and Zack and Stacey finally make out. Read the rest of this entry »

Is that an oil derrick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Zack with oil derrickThe gang rescues some much-beloved oak trees that the rest of us have never seen from the hands of a Chris Noth lookalike in a string tie. Which doesn’t matter much because their beloved pond animals already bit the big one in an oil spill. Tally-HO! Read the rest of this entry »